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Why asking what turns a girl on is the way to have better sex

Of course, I have to give the caveat that not all men approach sex the same way. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. And the fact that the acts described by my friends are considered "degrading" may be part of the problem. I love talking about the nitty-gritty, but I welcome the opportunity to talk about larger topics, too. This is a point that I bring up time and time again. Solicit her feedback during and after your times together. For example, you may wonder why it takes her so long to get turned on , when you can be ready for sex at the drop of a hat. If you want women to have sex with you, you have to make it safe for them to actually do so. One friend confessed she finds it hot when her husband slaps her with his penis. To the uninitiated, submissive sex may seem like an excuse for a woman to get treated like crap because she views herself as crap — meaning, she's insecure.

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Description: Gail Saltz , a psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, best-selling author, and host of the Power of Different podcast. Just like any other skill, being good in bed takes time, practice, and education. It should feel good to make another person feel good. Ask her how you can make the evening enjoyable for her. And "docile" is probably the last adjective you'd use to describe them. Thanks for your question. You need to be able to tell her what your desires are, and to ask what hers are. Being dominated means that a woman does not have to make any decisions and the burden of responsibility can be shed for a time. And the fact that the acts described by my friends are considered "degrading" may be part of the problem. Of course, your feminist or rather, human antenna may have perked up at the idea of being held down, or forced, into a sexual situation. Does she breathe more heavily when you use one particular stroke. Many women are sensitive to feeling pressured in the bedroom , but orgasm is impossible when it feels like an expectation. And as they confessed, they each added some version of the same caveat to their sex anecdotes.
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